Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Worst things to say...

So this is gona cover a bunch of feelings rather quickly.

Some of the most annoying thing that have been said to me after the twins passed.

10) Could you imagine the college bills, your better off not having that over your head...
9) God knew you couldn't afford the medical bills...

8) It was easier this way...

7) They wher so small and early it shouldn't take you long get get back to "normal"...

6) They didn't know that they had something to fight for...

5) It happened for a reason...

4) It is a cross you must carry...

3) They couldn't hold on, it was to hard for them...

2) God took you twins because you couldn't handle having them...

And finally, 1) They would have made horrible decisions and God didn't want them to be on those paths.

Yes people have said these to me. I know that they where trying to be comforting at the time. But seriously. Looking at these phrases now, in what psychotic universe would these foul thoughts of reason bring any comfort.

Look, I'm not gona go on and on about how I felt when these horrible misguided gestures are said to me. My feelings are definitely coming through. I just want to tell you that a "I'm sorry to hear about your loss." is and will always be the best thing to say. Simple works well, in decorating, house hold repairs, computer programing. I mean I am just so amazed that after 2 years, that these are the best and most common phrases that are uttered to me.

I will ask that if any other mom has gotten a doosy that they post it. Give your own thoughts on it in hopes that someone else may read it and learn to think before they speak.

5 comments:

  1. Bethany Klein Wright - Some...make that MOST People will NEVER understand what we went through. Completely heartless.

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  2. A fellow Preschool dad who has toddler twins at home told me, "But four boys would have been really, really hard. You should just feel blessed to have the two you do." I was outraged and this was less than 2 weeks after losing Lucas and Caleb. It blew my mind!

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  3. Ali Herling Morgan - Yep, a few of those have been said to me. Totally heartless.

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  4. I cannot believe people would say something so insensitive! ((((hugs)))) I have no idea the sense of loss but I know I feared it myself and was afraid it would be our fate. Our boys know about TTTS angels and we talk about how some babies didn't make it and they need to remember how much they are blessed.

    I'm so glad you are able to acknowledge in your head that they are just trying to help and be a comfort.... some of those are hard to tell though! ((((hugs again))))

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  5. I am truly sorry for your loss, and for how humanity has treated you for it. Those are lives lost, and I am stunned at the cruelty you have been put through while going through what is undoubtedly the hardest thing any mother can.

    Please consider this an apology on behalf of humanity. You did not deserve the loss of your children or the horrendous comments you have received.

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